“You should be sleeping, my love”, she whispered in the darkness of the bedroom and waited for a few seconds. When she heard no response, she continued: “Tell me what you’re dreaming of…” All she could hear was the wind outside the bedroom window. Certain that her husband was sound asleep, she got up and sneaked to the bedroom door. “Sweet dreams, my love”, she whispered as she shut the door behind her. She changed into her outfit of the night and took her time to apply her make up before tiptoeing out of the door. The suburban streets were hibernating as she hurried towards the local churchyard, clenching her long overcoat tight around her – just in case there were curious eyes behind the dark windows and closed blinds. A few minutes before she reached the wrought iron gate, she could hear the familiar chanting echo from within the darkness. “This is the noise that keeps me awake”, she thought to herself as she leant against an old oak tree and slid her coat off of her. Moments later, a soft sigh of pleasure escaped her lips when she felt the calming coldness of the granite press against her back and the chains rattle above her head. The moonlight caressed her skin and made her eyes glow as she looked at the hooded silhouettes gathering around her.
She was in the middle of getting dressed that morning when she heard a subtle knock on her living room window. Assuming it was her husband who had once again forgotten his keys on the kitchen countertop, she didn’t even think about covering her half naked body. Her eyes widened when she saw the man, who had just recently moved into the house next door, peek in through the big window. It seemed to take the man a moment to realize what he was staring at, and once he finally did, it seemed to her as if the man’s mouth had opened for a split second before he lowered his head. “Sorry… Mrs…” the man mumbled. Not unfamiliar with slightly awkward situations, she thought it was best to not act ashamed or even try to cover herself with her hands. Instead, she walked closer to the window, her exposed breasts bouncing to the rhythm of her steps. “Yes?” she asked the man after she had reached a decent distance from the window. “Can I help you?” Even with the man’s head bowed, she could see a grin appear on his face when he said: “I was just wondering… if I could borrow some…”
A few weeks after the bubbly New Year’s Eve and its perhaps a little too optimistic resolutions, she decided to walk a different route home from work. After she had passed a pub with its inviting happy hour deals and managed to resist the temptation, she thought she was safe. But then the smell of sugar and deep frying stopped her in her tracks. “I promised to start leading a healthier lifestyle with no alcohol or unhealthy snacks… at least till the end of January…” she mumbled to herself and checked the date on her phone. “Damn, still over half a month to go”, she thought to herself and sighed, looking around to find some way to cheat herself. “I never promised to give up caffeine. I can go in for just a cup of coffee… and get a better look, and sniff, of the pastries. Also, to whom did I promise these things? Myself! Ha, and I’m the biggest fool on Earth. At least I will be if I ever gave any credit to these promises… No. I will make it this time. Just a coffee. One medium coffee, black… as my soul right now”, she negotiated with herself and stepped in. The line leading up to the cashier was conveniently right next to the huge glass cabinet filled with doughnuts, and as the young pimple faced clerk made an eye-contact with her and asked the foreboding question “And for you, ma’am?” she had no choice but to proceed to the cash register and place her order.
Buon Anno! 良いお年を! Bonne Année! Gott Nytt År! ¡Feliz Año Nuevo! Hyvää Uutta Vuotta! 新年快乐! Head Uut Aastat! Καλή Χρονιά! Feliz Ano Novo! С Новым Годом! Frohes Neues Jahr! 새해 복 많이 받으세요! Gelukkig Nieuwjaar! สวัสดีปีใหม่! Haud Hogmanay!
If you’re reading this, thank you for making 2020 not as crappy as it could have been! Let’s make 2021 a lot better.
It was a loud night at the local pub the day before New Year’s Eve, in a world where pubs still had loud nights and people actually exited their residences. She had asked you to come join her for a few drinks, and as she turned around at the bar, holding two pints in her hands, she smiled widely and said: “Which drink will you choose? The one in my left hand holds a potion that will make this bad dream end for all of us, allowing the world to go back to normal and the humankind to continue as a more loving, tolerant and supporting community. The one in my left hand holds all the pseudo truths about the governments’, secret societies’ and extra-terrestrials’ attempts to control us using the most minute yet crucial vessels. Also, it’s cat piss. No matter which drink you choose, I wish you all the best for the new year and hope that it will be a better one for you, your family, and your loved ones.”
She was supposed to be home by Christmas morning but as the last train of the day got cancelled, she had no option but to call her husband. “I’m so sorry, honey… Moving my grandmother to the new house took much longer than we had anticipated. I was counting on the last train but it got cancelled because of the blizzard”, she explained. “It’s okay… I understand”, the man sighed in response, audibly disappointed. The man didn’t even bother having Christmas dinner that evening and after wandering around in the presumably empty house, he decided to call it a day and head to bed early. As he opened the bedroom door, the sight that welcomed him almost made him fall on his butt. “Surprise, honey!” the wife exclaimed, the colourful Christmas lights caressing her almost naked body. “What the…? How did you…?” the man mumbled. “I wanted to prank you a little… I made the call from the bathroom while changing into this cute little thing”, she explained and ran her fingertips down along the straps of her lingerie. That Christmas night wasn’t exactly a silent night.
“What do you mean you don’t know how to fix it?” she asked and smirked at the poor boy, for he was a boy still, not much over 20 and fairly unexperienced in the catering business. That’s why he had jumped at the first chance to get a trainee position in one of the shady joints in the next town. “You broke my antique chair”, the woman continued and leaned back in her chair. “So, we have three options, really. Either you fix it, which you said you cannot do. Or you buy me a replacement piece, which we all know you can’t afford. Or… I will make you my chair. Now get down on all fours!” she commanded and kicked the boy in the back of his knee. The woman laughed when the boy gasped in surprise as his body collapsed on the floor. The woman sat over his back and rocked her hips from side to side slowly to get comfortable on her new chair. “I did tell you that I’m not bossy… I’m the boss. There’s a difference. And I bet you understand it now”, she grinned and started to sip her afternoon tea, just in time before the early evening crowd.
Sometimes it felt to her as if the time had stopped – only to leap forward again in the next moment. Her thoughts gathering dust in the stillness of the moment, her spirit wild as the wind that blew across the deserted streets. “How do you want to spend your time?” she asked, looking him deep in his eyes. Somewhere down the street, a car alarm went off. The test pattern on the television flickered. Another moment had passed. “We can make the time disappear”, the man replied, much to her amusement. Words lost their meaning and gradually ceased to exist. Everything had been said before. Yet not with their voices.
Ever since she had gotten up that morning, she had had that specific tingly feeling inside her. Anxious for her husband to come back home from work, she hadn’t even been able to cook a proper meal. “Dining in and eating out… that gives me an idea…” she thought to herself and went to her lingerie chest. After rummaging through her selection of lacy little things, most of them being gifts from her husband, she set her mind on a white number that was one of her new favourites. “Today he’ll get to enjoy something rich and creamy. This will go perfectly with the pearl necklace he gave me”, she giggled to herself. When she heard the front door open and close, she tiptoed to the dining room and positioned herself on the table. “Hi, honey, I got us Chinese on the way home…” her husband started to say but then dropped the paper bag and just stared at her. “Let me remind you in case you don’t already know… dining out can happen down below”, she said with a wink.
The early morning sun caressed her almost naked body as she started to open her eyes. Her vision blurry, it took a moment for the room to take form. The dark corners were the first to appear, then the pile of clothes on the floor between the door and the bed she was lying in. Then, a hairy leg that poked from under the duvet. She held her head as last night’s events slowly appeared in front of her closed eyes. Taxi, pub, cider, club, loud music, too many shots, a cute guy with a wine stain on his shirt and a diamond in his mouth. Slow dancing, bodies pressing together, sweat, more drinks. Then, another taxi, deep kisses, hands all over, stumbling into a flat, hurried undressing, a number of different poses, more sweat, a total blackout. She crawled out of the bed slowly and picked the first piece of clothing from the floor on her way to the bathroom. The sun had climbed higher as she leaned against the sink and looked herself in the mirror. Her dried mascara framed her eyes and nose, and what used to be her lipstick looked more like some sort of a rash. After she had washed her face, she looked herself again and smiled. “Cute”, she whispered to her reflection and grabbed her phone that she had taken with her to the bathroom with the intent of messaging her friend about the eventful night. Then, a sudden knock on the bathroom door interrupted her train of thought. “Hey… you… umm, sexy lady… come back to bed! I promised you something special if you stay for the night”, a male voice said on the other side of the locked door. She wasn’t sure, but she thought that it was the sweet-talking dude from the nightclub. “Sure… but first, let me take a selfie.”